'Allo 'Allo!

10 Worst Episodes of 'Allo 'Allo!

In this spoof of World War II, René Artois runs a café in German-occupied France. He always seems to have his hands full: He's having affairs with most of his waitresses, he's keeping his wife happy, he's trying to please the German soldiers who frequent his café, and he's running a major underground operation for the Resistance.

Written by Sophie and last updated on jan 30, 2021.

PS: The following content contains spoilers!

PPS: I will admit that parts of this page was written with the help of AI - it makes my work so much easier to not start from a blank page!

'Allo 'Allo! - S9E5

#10 - A Fishy Sendoff (Season 9 - Episode 5)

General von Klinkerhoffen takes Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber out to play golf. While they are playing, they discuss the plot to kill Hitler. Herr Flick eavesdrops on part of the conversation using a bugged golf club. Later, he intercepts the exploding picture frame at the station, thinking it's the painting of the 'Fallen Madonna'. René and company reach the coast, where they find that the Allies are landing.

The episode was rated 7.70 from 43 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S5E8

#9 - The Arrival of the Homing Duck (Season 5 - Episode 8)


René, having been dumped out of the Communist truck, reports to the girls that Denise has vowed to kill them all, so Edith starts hiding in various disguises. Helga reports to von Strohm that the paintings are in the Communist HQ, so they make plans to attack the Communists and recover the art, using Bertorelli and his just-arrived Italian troops. Von Klinkerhoffen comes to report that the German Generals will be arriving for a conference to plan the British invasion, and René is told by Michelle that he will end up doing the catering for the conference and that he must photograph the plans and send them by duck.

The episode was rated 7.69 from 64 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S3E1

#8 - The Nicked Knockwurst (Season 3 - Episode 1)

After the Colonel makes René promise not to hang out with the Resistance anymore, Herr Flick's sausage (containing the forgery of the Fallen Madonna) is kidnapped by the Communist Resistance. The Colonel and the Captain are anxious that it doesn't come out that they have switched the paintings, and order René to come up with the ransom, which Edith gets from Monsieur Alphonse. The ransom is to be left by René and his staff, dressed as German soldiers. But the whole thing is watched by German soldiers dressed as French policemen, the Gestapo dressed as French Resistance girls, and the Colonel and the Captain dressed as trees. And of course, Lieutenant Gruber stumbles upon the meeting, and his dog can't help but chase the sausage.

The episode was rated 7.68 from 98 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S6E6

#7 - The Crooked Fences (Season 6 - Episode 6)


René, Mimi and the two British airmen are still handcuffed together. They make their way to the police station, hoping that Officer Crabtree can free them. The Germans want to sell the painting of the 'Fallen Madonna'. They order René to find them a fence. A meeting is held, with Monsieur Alphonse posing as the fence and everyone else wearing paper bags on their heads. The painting is exchanged for the gold weight from the cuckoo clock. Later, the Germans decide that they'd rather have cash, so René arranges for the gold to be exchanged for forged currency. The swap is made in the church, in the confessional booth. There's a cockup and the Germans inadvertantly pass the gold on to the priest.

The episode was rated 7.67 from 52 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S9E1

#6 - Gone with the Windmill (Season 9 - Episode 1)

Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber fail to escape to Spain. René suggests that they hide in a local windmill and pretend to have been kidnapped. General von Klinkerhoffen has ordered the windmill to be used for target practice by the German artillery. René rescues the two German officers and is then captured by the Communist Resistance. Herr Flick has had plastic surgery as part of his plan to escape being captured by the Allies.

The episode was rated 7.66 from 53 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S5E12

#5 - Who's for the Vatican? (Season 5 - Episode 12)


Luckily for René, the German Generals end up in Berlin rather than England. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber tell René that he must recover the paintings from the Communist Resistance headquarters. René disguises himself as a Franciscan vicar and sets off with Mimi in the pram, disguised as a baby. Meanwhile, Helga is also heading for the headquarters disguised as a nurse, pushing Herr Flick, disguised as a baby, in another pram. The Italians storm the headquarters and are captured by the Communist Resistance. René manages to recover the paintings but is caught by Denise Laroque and her Communist Resistance.

The episode was rated 7.65 from 55 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S4E1

#4 - Prisoners of War (Season 4 - Episode 1)

Having been trapped in the POW camp, René is enlisted in the plan to re-dig the tunnel, by getting rid of the dirt. Hans and the Colonel are playing cricket, though not very well, and Herr Flick and von Smallhausen are digging their own tunnel into the camp. Monsieur Alphonse arrives at the Café to report to Fanny the news that René has been captured, but René and Company join in on the British prisoners' plan to escape - though only one person can escape in this way. Meanwhile, Helga reports the situation to Gruber, and together they decide on a plan to rescue the Colonel, the Captain, and René, involving Gruber dressing as a nun.

The episode was rated 7.63 from 80 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S7E1

#3 - A Quiet Honeymoon (Season 7 - Episode 1)


LeClerc and Fanny are brought down in the town square after the helium runs out, where they are then arrested and sent to prison. Edith manages to forge her own papers to release Fanny and LeClerc just as von Smallhausen has himself arrested to interrogate the couple about the British airmen. Ultimately, the forged papers are discovered, and the newlyweds hide back at the café. Unfortunately, their spring-loaded Murphy bed has now pinned them behind the wall.

The episode was rated 7.59 from 64 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S4E4

#2 - The Flying Nun (Season 4 - Episode 4)

The Gestapo suspects that the Colonel and the General are in on a plot to assassinate Hitler, so Herr Flick goes undercover as Private Irma von Kinkenrotten and plants a somewhat bizarre daffodil-shaped microphone in the Colonel's office, where Gruber and von Strohm are making plans to get rid of Bertorelli in some way. Meanwhile, as Edith prepares for her wedding, René & Co. must get the aerial for their new radio above the jamming signal of Herr Flick, so they disguise Mimi as a small nun to obtain a box kite which they fly to contact London and request plastic explosive to blow up the safe in the General's château to get the British invasion plans.

The episode was rated 7.57 from 69 votes.

'Allo 'Allo! - S5E4

#1 - The Dreaded Circular Saw (Season 5 - Episode 4)


The plan to photograph the plans for the German invasion of Great Britain goes bad when Edith puts the smoke bomb in the wrong chimney of the château, and René and LeClerc are forced to blow up the safe in another kind of chaos than they had originally planned. During the escape, René and LeClerc are captured by the Communist Resistance. Helga is ordered by the Colonel to be Lieutenant Gruber's best friend, but during their not-so-romantic tête-à-tête, Edith and the servant girls steal the Lieutenant's little tank to try and rescue René.

The episode was rated 7.51 from 69 votes.

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