7.8
215 votes
Toast of London

Toast of London

Channel 4 2013

Steven Toast is a middle-aged actor with a chequered past who spends more time dealing with his problems off stage rather than performing on it.Toast lives with his friend Ed Howzer-Black. The other regular characters are his useless agent Jane Plough, and his acting nemesis Ray Purchase.

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The 10 Worst Episodes of Toast of London

Toast of London - S1E3

#1 - Vanity Project

7.26

Season 1 - Episode 3

Toast is caught in the middle of an acrimonious and expensive divorce so he needs to find a lot of cash, fast. Given two potential solutions; a starring role in a new feature film being made by a rich Arab billionaire or a laxative ad, he plumps for the former, despite the protestations of his agent, Jane Plough. But given the content of the movie, has Toast made the right decision?

The episode was rated #1 Worst episode of Toast of London from 142 votes.

Toast of London - S1E2

#2 - Afternoon Tea

7.45

Season 1 - Episode 2

Toast's excitement at winning a part in a new play is tempered by two facts. One, his nemesis Ray Purchase is also in it. Two, there's a rumour his director, Acker Herron, has a history of murdering difficult actors. Romantically, Toast has to choose between his old RADA contemporary, the fun-loving and beautiful Greta Cargo and a prostitute...

The episode was rated #2 Worst episode of Toast of London from 152 votes.

Toast of London - S2E3

#3 - The Moose Trap

7.46

Season 2 - Episode 3

A return to the West End stage in the legendary 'whodunnit' play The Moose Trap is seriously jeopardised when Toast reveals the killer's identity in a radio interview.

The episode was rated #3 Worst episode of Toast of London from 97 votes.

Toast of London - S1E4

#4 - Submission

7.47

Season 1 - Episode 4

Toast's new girlfriend, the aristocratic Portia de Coogan, thinks it's about time Toast met her father, Lord Fotheringham. To make the best impression, it's vital Toast works on his non-existent sense of humour. Professionally, some voiceover work for the Royal Navy leads to a terrifying visit to the launch of their latest submarine - The Penetrator.

The episode was rated #4 Worst episode of Toast of London from 122 votes.

Toast of London - S1E1

#5 - Addictive Personality

7.59

Season 1 - Episode 1

Things are looking up for Steven. His agent Jane Plough gives him some exciting news: he's won a 'Best Actor' award from trendy Bra'z' Magazine. Toast is also getting more than a bit of attention from the ladies; celebrity journalist Susan Random and the beautiful, but slightly unhinged, Jemima Gina. Meanwhile Toast's flatmate Ed Howzer-Black has invited his old friend Kikini Bamalaam, the daughter of the Nigerian ambassador, to stay. Kikini is recovering from her latest botched cosmetic surgery and now closely resembles a very famous showbiz personality.

The episode was rated #5 Worst episode of Toast of London from 200 votes.

Toast of London - S2E4

#6 - High Winds Actor

7.64

Season 2 - Episode 4

After the tragic death of his friend Axel Jacklin, Britain's finest exponent of acting in high winds, Toast finds himself in demand for dramatic roles.

The episode was rated #6 Worst episode of Toast of London from 100 votes.

Toast of London - S2E2

#7 - Desperate Measures

7.69

Season 2 - Episode 2

After Ray Purchase snitches on him to the 'Tax People', Toast receives a massive tax bill, and is forced to take on some unappealing jobs to pay off the debt.

The episode was rated #7 Worst episode of Toast of London from 105 votes.

Toast of London - S1E5

#8 - The End

7.69

Season 1 - Episode 5

Toast is fed up with his current jobs. With the help of a new agent, Brooke Hooberman, he tries his hand at a new career; an author of erotic literature. He also finds himself a glamorous new lady friend, Kate Khan, who would be perfect if she didn't have her deaf, dumb and blind aunt constantly in tow.

The episode was rated #8 Worst episode of Toast of London from 118 votes.

Toast of London - S1E6

#9 - Bonus Ball

7.72

Season 1 - Episode 6

After losing £20,000 to Andrew Lloyd Webber in a celebrity poker game, Toast finds himself being hunted by musical superstar and part-time theatre-land enforcer, Michael Ball. Needing cash quick, a desperate Toast agrees to dub some gay art house porn. When his nemesis, Ray Purchase, catches him in bed with his wife again, Toast is caught up in a life or death showdown with both Purchase and Ball on the stage of his appalling play... Meanwhile his agent, Jane Plough, thinks he may have won the role of James Bond, if he survives.

The episode was rated #9 Worst episode of Toast of London from 109 votes.

Toast of London - S2E1

#10 - Match Fit

7.74

Season 2 - Episode 1

Toast is intrigued to find that Ed is entering a Celebrities and Prostitutes Blow Football Tournament. It's an annual event organized by Ed's showbiz charity, The River Rats. Ed suggests that Toast enter too. Toast accepts the invitation, and as he is 'fiercely competitive in everything', soon becomes obsessed with winning the tournament.

The episode was rated #10 Worst episode of Toast of London from 105 votes.

#11 - Bob a Job
7.84
Season 3 - Episode 4

Persuaded by Jane at the promise of a potential role as the British Attaché in Kevin Spacey's House of Cards, Toast takes part in a Royal Variety Performance hosted by Bob Monkhouse. While Toast is trying to cope with Monkhouse's constant jokes and the strain of working with Ray Purchase yet again, Scramble Studio's Danny Bear is getting ready for a life-changing operation. When it's time to go under the knife, however, it seems Ed's recommended 'surgeon' may cut a few corners to save a bob or two. And although Toast's legendary Sand Dance performance might go well, he still doesn't have a clue what Monkhouse is on about.

The episode was rated #1 Worst episode of Toast of London from 87 votes.

Toast of London - S2E5
#12 - Buried Alive
7.85
Season 2 - Episode 5

Toast is very excited to land a major role in a big movie, but when his co-star, Max Gland, has an accident on set, it has terrifying consequences for Toast's role.

The episode was rated #2 Worst episode of Toast of London from 96 votes.

Toast of London - S3E2
#13 - Beauty Calls
7.88
Season 3 - Episode 2

Toast's romance with a weather girl is thrown into jeopardy when he and Ed are asked to judge an international beauty contest.

The episode was rated #3 Worst episode of Toast of London from 97 votes.

#14 - Man of Sex
7.91
Season 3 - Episode 5

Toast and Ed are tasked with collecting legendary actor, and drinker, Ormond Sacker from rehab. After a number of failed attempts things begin to look up when Sacker is cast alongside Toast in West End play Man of Sex. Toast, meanwhile, is dating Varrity Map, a doctor of drumming, and despite his ex-wife Ellen bringing out an autobiography, he is determined not to be affected by her no-doubt slanderous comments about him. But when Varrity's rhythm starts to grow irritating and Sacker succumbs to the booze after the opening night, Toast has to deal not only with his nemesis Ray Purchase but Ray's 'even worse' twin brother.

The episode was rated #4 Worst episode of Toast of London from 92 votes.

Toast of London - S3E1
#15 - Over the Moon
7.96
Season 3 - Episode 1

Live on chat show Lorraine Toast tells a tale that could not only topple the US Government but also destroy the entire world. Meanwhile, he's got an outdoor production of Macbeth to prepare for.

The episode was rated #5 Worst episode of Toast of London from 108 votes.

Toast of London - S2E6
#16 - Fool in Love
8.02
Season 2 - Episode 6

An old heartbreaker flame of Toast's, Lorna Wynde, turns up in London, but is she still in love with him, or is she trying to make her husband, Josh Homme, jealous?

The episode was rated #6 Worst episode of Toast of London from 92 votes.

#17 - Global Warming
8.04
Season 3 - Episode 6

You know what they say, 'an actor cannot truly call himself an actor until he's performed at the Globe'. That, and never work with animals. London is having the hottest weather since weather began, Ed's Australian nephew has come to say, and the latest fad of 'Blue Spruce' furniture is spreading like wild fire. When Toast begs Jane to get him in at the Globe Theatre, he's less than impressed with the director, Daz Klondyke, who's rumoured to be the hottest thing in UK theatre. However when he's cast in Klondyke's all-dog version of Twelfth Night, it's not long before Toast gets his fingers burnt as he tries to become a real actor.

The episode was rated #7 Worst episode of Toast of London from 94 votes.

Toast of London - S3E3
#18 - Hamm on Toast
8.05
Season 3 - Episode 3

Toast experiences the charisma of Mad Men star Jon Hamm.

The episode was rated #8 Worst episode of Toast of London from 91 votes.

Last updated: nov 09, 2020

Comments

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Hi Steven it's Clem Fandango, can you hear me?

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Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango!

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